The Battle Of Blackamoor and Beating of the Beastly Blackamonster
Once upon a time, deep in the forest, there lived a wicked bog monster. Hiding amongst the foul-smelling gloop of the Devil’s Elbow swamp, the Blackamonster would lure unsuspecting bikers into his realm and trip them up with cunningly concealed roots and rocks. Sometimes, he’d swallow bikes whole and let out an enormous belch, especially if they were made of carbon or had 29″ wheels.
Everyone was scared of the Blackamonster. Well, everyone except the knights and damsels of the Order of Ride Sheffield. Back in the mists of time they decided that enough was enough, formed an alliance with the good wizards of the Sheffield Wildlife Trust and did battle with the Blackamonster.
First they threw mighty rocks at it, followed by some smaller rocks and finally, very small rocks. Then, in spite of the risks, they donned their 5:10’s, armed themselves with mighty digging implements and beat the Blackamonster into submission.
And there was much rejoicing, biscuit eating and beverage drinking and the good people of the forest could once again ride the Devil’s Elbow without fear of losing their precious Maxxi’s Minions.
But the Blackamonster was not to be so easily defeated. Somehow it found a way to escape from under the blanket of rocks and small rocks. To everyone’s consternation, a mighty Blackamonster mouth appeared right in the middle of the trail swallowing many a young scamp or scampess.
And so it came to pass that on the twenty forth day of February in the two thousand and eighteenth year of our good Lord Peaty, a mighty force of twenty brave souls assembled under the Ride Sheffield banner and marched fearlessly into the forest. The battle, owing to the overwhelming numbers, was short and vicious and the Blackamonster stood no chance and was soon interred under a carapace of glorious gritstone.
And once again, the jolly folk of the forest, walker and mountain biker, horse-folk and birder could wend their merry way through the forest unhindered by the filthy, foul smelling Blackamonster.
And they all lived happily ever after….
If you’d like to help the knights and damsels of Ride Sheffield afford more tools so that other mythical beasts can be slain, please donate HERE
If you’d like to help mend the Notorious B.O.G, i.e. Cut Gate, donate HERE